I'M GLAD I'M A MAN
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't live off of yogurt, diet
coke, or cottage cheese. I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of
my breasts; I can get where I want to -- north, south, east or west. I don't
get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't end up in
tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to wear; I spend 5 minutes
max fixing my hair. And I don't go around checking my reflection; in
everything shiny from every direction. I don't whine in public and
make us leave early; and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing; I don't have to sit around
waiting for that ring. I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the
back; I don't carry our differences into the sack. I'll never go psycho
and threaten to kill you; or think every guy out there's trying to steal
you. I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too; I know what the time is
and I know what to do. And I honestly think its a privilege for me; to
have these two balls and stand when I pee. I live to watch sports and
play all sorts of ball; it's more fun than dealing with women after all. I
won't cry if you say it's not going to work; I won't remain bitter and call
you a jerk. Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure; I won't assume
it's permanent by any measure.
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see; I'm glad I'm not capable of
child delivery. I don't get all bitchy every 28 days; I'm glad that my
gender gets me a much bigger raise. I'm a man by chance and I'm
thankful it's true; I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!
--
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